“This is about the fundamentalist right and weird things they do.”Frank Zappa (151)

“It’s a device that was advertised in a Finnish pornographic magazine. I might even have a copy of it here. It was a vinyl head. About this big [the size of a human head – Ed] – with short hair. Mouth open about like that. Sponge rubber throat. Two speed vibrator attached to the throat. A squeeze bulb on the side underneath an ear that makes the jaws collapse. And this is Miss Pinky – that was the only thing that was in English in this ad. And I think ‘Jeee-zuz K-Rist. What is this?’. So I said ‘Well, we’ve got to get one of these.’ So we looked all over. Couldn’t find one until we got to Amsterdam. Smothers went into a sex shop and found two of them. So he bought them both. We put one on the crew bus for the boys to have fun with. And we used another one onstage and had it suck off the microphone a couple of times. And so I wrote the song about the little rubber head. It’s just straight reportage: ‘I got a girl with a little rubber head/Messes, around every night just before I go to bed/She never talked back like a lady might do/And she looks like she loves it every time I get through’.”Frank Zappa (931)

“Of course, it’s a tribute to [Jimi Hendrix and – Ed] anybody who did anything in rock and roll that set the standards for what people are doing now, and often copying in a bad way. You know, to me the original stuff… it’s just like the original rhythm and blues records. There’s nothing like it. A lot of those same things are being re-recorded again and recorded cleaner and nicer and better and whatever, faster. But it’s not the same. And it’s really not New Wave and it’s not improved anything. It’s just today’s freeze-dried version of the mannerisms of another form of music that already happened.”Frank Zappa (932)

“Well you have to understand that I’m not too thrilled about the Valley as an aesthetic concept. You know. I mean the San Fernando Valley, to me, represents a number of very evil things. I probably shouldn’t be saying that because a lot of people think this is a nice, cute, harmless song. But I don’t like the Valley. I shouldn’t say anything more than that.”Frank Zappa (933)

“People that are offended by the song are people that have their nose out of joint about something because the song is by no means offensive. It isn’t. It’s funny. It’s comedy. I see a little of myself in that song. I do paint my toenails. I don’t go to a salon to get a leg wax or anything like that, but I can imagine what it’s like. I’m not going to get offended because someone knows that I do that. So I think that when people take offense at things, they should really know the whole story, because anybody who knows the whole story behind that song could not possibly be offended by it. There’s nothing offensive about it. Bar mitzvahs is where it started. I would go to bar mitzvahs and come back speaking Valley lingo that everyone at the bar mitzvah was speaking and the song came out of that. Before I was doing it, Laraine Newman was doing it. And no one was getting offended by that. I guess maybe she didn’t strike something that offended them. Bikini waxes, Pac-Man, sado-masochism, whatever.”Moon Unit Zappa (933)

“‘Bob in Dacron’ is about this dumpy middle-aged guy who’s getting dressed to go to a singles bar. He’s wearing black shoes, socks, garters and those ugly boxer shorts middle-aged guys prefer. He jumps onto the stage, and there are these racks of stupid-looking clothes. In the center of the stage is this thing behind which is hidden three imaginary girls, the kind Bob imagines would respond to a groovy guy like him. He goes from rack to rack, and finally gets this really ugly wardrobe on. Then we get to see what his body really looks like; this animated painting shows it. Also, we have a tennis instructor, a shoeshine boy and a doctor giving him advice on the care and maintenance of his body; they’re joined by the three girls and pair off. The scene changes to this ’50s beatnik club where Bob makes his grand entrance. The bartender gets so busy waiting on tables that he splits in half and his guts fall out. The puppet splits in half and two dancers hop out. Bob gets drunk, makes an a – of himself and gets thrown out. He meets Jane, a bag lady. He’s still trying to get a piece of a – , but he can’t quite do it with her. She doesn’t like him either and goes to sleep. As she dreams, she emerges from her pile of overcoats and she’s this beautiful naked girl who starts dancing around. Bob’s imagining that maybe underneath these rags there’s this terrific girl, but it turns out it’s not true. Because eventually we find out what Jane’s body is really like. And it has a surprise ending.”Frank Zappa (934)

“‘Broadway The Hard Way’ was very very specific, because it was about the 1988 election and all the televangelist stuff. But that kind of specific stuff, although it gets stale very quickly in the short term, in the long term it may be an interesting historical document the same way ‘We’re Only In It For The Money’ is. Because at that time, in ’67/’68 when we did that, it seemed almost redundant to sing about flower power, because we were right in the middle of it – so who could give a fuck? But listen to it today, and it’s the only album from the period that raises an eyebrow about flower power and what hippies were all about.”Frank Zappa (935)